Month 11

I cant remember the last time I gave the monkey a bath.

Does that make me a bad parent?

Every time she gets her diaper changed, her nether regions are cleaned.  She wears socks and shoes.  She doesnt mash food into her hair.  In fact, her hair is always silky and clean.  We clean her hands after every meal (no, not before… germs are a good thing).  If she gets especially sticky, sure, we’ll dunk her in the tub.  But generally, she doesnt get fully bathed.

I said this the other day, and someone said, “ew!”


It’s not like she’s a teenager.  She doesnt stink.  She’s not running around in mud pies.  She’s a clean kid.

When we do stick her in the tub, she only tolerates it if someone else is in there with her.  Otherwise she’ll stand up and try to climb out.  I’ll wash her hair and extremities first, and then let her play with a toy or two in the water.  Then she quickly gets sick of it and wants to get out.  Plus, its always at the end of the day, when she’s exhausted anyway, and isnt really in the mood to deal with being scrubbed and dried.  Life is just easier if we dont do it.

So does that make me a bad parent?  I dont think so…


Day… who knows. Month 10.

The monkey is awesome. Incredibly awesome. She’s still sleeping with us because we’re still lazy as shit. And we have our old bed in her room. That’s the reason I give everyone who asks. The real reason is that we’re lazy as shit. I dont want to move more than 6 inches to attend to her in the middle of the night. Yes, she rolls on top of us. Yes, she did puke on me in the middle of the night. But I preferred that to waking up 4 hours later and seeing her covered in yack.

Every day she does something new. She’s walking, now. Taking bites of food, weened herself off of the bottle, picks up her sippy cup, points to her father and says, “Da!” I gave her a taste of pizza and she pointed at it and said, “Mine!”

She’s 97 percentile for height, and at the last appointment, 60something for weight. Doc said he’d like to see her weigh a little more in relation to her height. So we’re trying to feed her more often and encourage her to try new things. Although, that’s really not an issue. If it’s edible, she’ll try it. Fuck, it doesnt even need to be edible. Her books attest to that.

She monitors the world around her and sits quietly. She has her loud screetchy moments, too.

She has no idea that another child is about to enter the picture, but I’m sure she’ll love whatever pops out of me. Because that’s the kind of kid she is.


Day 210 (6 Months Day 28)

The monkey is seriously living up to her nickname. If given the opportunity, she will crawl all over whoever sits next to her. She can walk now, while holding onto things. She can crawl quickly, pull herself up, flip over, you name it. Yesterday, she even climbed up some stairs. Thankfully, we were in the foyer.

This kid is awesome.

Except when she’s sick.

And boy was she sick.

Our baby had her first major ass fever. The day before, she didnt want to eat, and even fell asleep in her high chair. She was fussy and needy. In the middle of the night, I noticed that she was warm, so I turned up the fan and gave her some cold milk, and that brought her fever down. I didnt take her temp because I figured since it went away, it wasnt a big deal. In the morning, we dropped her off at daycare like always, and went along with our day. But something told me that I’d be back. Sure enough, the daycare director called and told us that Jules was up to 102.9. My dad was able to get there before we could, and for the rest of the night, we monitored her temp. The highest it got was that 102.9, but it was generally around 99 to 100. The next day we took her to the doctor’s office and her assured us that she was probably ok, and to just keep giving her tylenol and motrin. The fever broke, eventually, and she’s back to her normal hungry, calm self.

It made me sad to see my baby sick. Granted it was nothing serious, but I still felt bad that she felt bad and that there was mostly nothing I could do about it. I was sick at the same time, too… so my self pity was exponentially ridiculous.

But like I said, she’s better now, and we’ve made it through our first fevers. I’m certain there will be plenty more.

Day 164 (5 months 1w6d)


Did you know that I have a kid??

Sometimes I forget…

But its hard to forget when she’s screaming in your ear at 3am.

The monkey is too long for the sleepy hammock that she’s been sleeping in since birth. She’s also too pained from teething to sleep by herself in her own crib. So. What to do? Well, for the past two nights, she’s been sleeping next to me, in bed, while M sleeps on a twin mattress on the floor. (I dont wanna hear the damn warnings about how that’s incredibly not safe and shit… really, I dont. You do what works when you havent slept in weeks.) Saturday night she slept soundly and M and I actually got some quality Z’s. Last night, not so much. She kept waking up either in incredible amounts of pain or sheer terror. Cant really figure out which. Orajel has ceased to work. Tylenol is starting to wear thin. Mortin looks like it’s in our near future.

So, every time the monkey woke up crying, she wouldnt go back to sleep unless I put her in the nook between my arm and my chest and rocked her back and forth. Talk about needy. 😛 Needless to say, I didnt get much sleep. We dont really know how tonight is gonna work. Last night we tried to get her acclimated to her room and sat her in her crib and talked to her, and showed her her mobile and all that stuff. And then, just out of the blue, she started screaming bloody murder. No warning. No whimper. And the both of us were standing right there, next to her, in plain view!

Anyway, I picked her up and rubbed her back and M decided that she was sleeping with me on the bed, again.


Everything is just a phase… right?

Her first stick!

Day 117 (Week 17)

Aaaand we have hit teething.


My normally sweet, kind, quiet little girl is now a slobbery, angry, screamy mess. It’s uncool.

As far as daycare goes, we havent seen that lady since we complained. She’s been taken care of by two fantastic women who, I think, like Julie the best because she’s (usually) quiet and calm. There are now a few other children in there, all older than ours. Most can walk or crawl, whereas the monkey isn’t mobile yet. We sometimes find her in a boppy with a toy or leaning forward out of a boppy trying to eat a ball. Or sleeping.

She still likes to sleep.


Next week she gets another round of shots and we’ll see where she in the grand scheme of percentiles. Not that I really care, in the end. She’s my happy kid, and therefore she’s perfect. I dare anyone to tell me otherwise.

So yeah, that’s life.

On nom nom nom.

Day 82


Yesterday broke my heart and left me distraught and sad.

We got to the daycare at 4 and went to the infant’s room to pick up the monkey.  I saw a lady who isn’t normally her caregiver.  And there were two toddlers in the room with them.

And my child was screaming.

The lady was sitting on the floor next to her, not preoccupied with the other two toddlers, but was letting our little girl scream her head off in the small soft round play enclosure.  No pacifier even near her to show that maybe she might have had it in at one point, and had decided to pop it out, like she sometimes does.  No.  It was on the other side of the room.

The monkey was red from crying.  Her eyes were wet with tears.  The lady was all, “Oh, she heard you guys coming.”  M made a comment to the effect of, “My child isnt afraid of me, so there’s no reason for her to cry when I come in”.  I finally got my hands on her and she wouldnt calm down.  She kept yelling.  She wasnt quiet for another 3 or 4 minutes.

Julie’s not like that.  I understand that babies cry and they get annoying and blah blah blah.  But she’s really chill.  And the only time I have ever seen her that upset was when I went and took a shower and didnt hear her crying.  And then it took for frickin ever to calm her down.

I wanted to lay waste to that woman.  I really did.  I wanted to scream and yell and ask her what her fucking problem was.  M did, too.  And he kept making comments about the other children who were crying and how she wasnt attending to them, either.  But I couldnt even stick enough brain cells together to form a cohesive sentence.  I was that upset about the baby.

Later that evening, while the center was still open, M called and talked to the director.  She was disturbed by the incident, too, and promised us that the lady in question wasn’t going to be taking care of anyone in that room, anymore.  He made it clear that we love the other ladies who take care of our kid.  Julie’s starting to recognize everyone and smile when they come near.  This lady was just ridiculous.  This is the same woman who, last week, decided to try to feed the monkey 2 hours after having had an epic 7oz.  Of course she’s not fucking hungry, you whore!

Anyway.  This morning was hard, leaving her there.  We know the morning caregiver and she’s a sweetheart, and she hands her off to the main caregiver, who is also a sweetheart.  Julie went to the morning lady and smiled when she tickled her back.  She was happy again.

I have to ask… why would someone ignore such a sweet child, like that?  Why would you leave her to cry all by herself?  All she needed was to be picked up.  You have other children to attend to, that’s understandable.  Just pick up Julie and take her around with you.  She’s cool.  How can you listen to her screaming like that, and not want to make it better??

I love our daughter.  She’s the best thing to happen to us since we met each other.

I’m sorry.  I have to stop writing now.


Look at that smile.

Day 80

Yesterday I was gathering up the things that dont fit the monkey anymore, and realized just how much she’s grown.  Back when she was tiny, I used to be able to gather her up and plop her right underneath my neck, and nuzzle her head.  I cant do that, anymore.  And yeah, I’m glad she’s grown out of the whole “eating every 2 and a half hours” thing, but I’m surprised at how much I dont want to see her grow up.  It’s kinda bittersweet.

I love watching her learn, and grow, and smile, and laugh, and discover.  I cant wait to see all the things she’ll shortly be doing, like babbling, crawling, and rolling around.  But I never would have pegged myself as someone who wants their child to stay tiny, forever.

Friday she turns 3 months.

And she needs me now.  So off I go.  She’s playing my song.

Day 67

The Monkey has started going to daycare regularly, now.  We’re taking her over to the place by my parent’s house that opens at 5:30am, which gives M and I have a fighting chance against DC traffic.  Today, when we dropped her off, she was passed out.  Such a cutie.  The place is also brand spanking new, and she’s the only infant.  She’s gonna be spoiled.

She had her shots last week.  The doc, for insurance purposes, had to push them back a week so that we were officially “60 days from birth”.  Otherwise, the insurance would have bitched and possibly not paid.  Whatever.  She handled them well.  Didnt appreciate the sticks in the legs, but stopped crying after about 3 minutes.  And slept, epically.

Oo, she also met Santa this past weekend.  No crying, no fussing.  She went to him with wide eyes, sat on his lap, posed for pictures, looked confused, and moved on with her life.  I was very proud.  🙂

Nothing much else going on.  She’s just as happy and calm as she ever was.

I’m so grateful that I’m a mom.

Hiding in my dad's shirt after her shots.

Day 52

Today the Monkey had her first day at day care.  I had to go back to work, only to be told that I am now coming into an oodle more leave.  So, she’s not going back for the rest of the week.

My dad went and visited her and she smiled at him when she woke up and generally had a good day with folks she didnt know at all and babies that were older than her.  She ate, slept, pooped, peed (on a lady), and had fun.  Good girl.  I’m glad she didnt throw a fit or get scared or ridiculously sad.

Next week she gets to go back.


The jury’s still out… I cant do this “getting to work at 8am” shit.  And apparently, the closer into the city you go, the later the fucking daycares open.  I mean, seriously, what the hell??  THIS IS WHY TRAFFIC IS A FUCKING NIGHTMARE.

Anyway.  There’s a center by where my parents live that opens at 5:30… so its an option.

On Wednesday, our favorite tiny dancer is going to get her first major shots.  I forsee crying.  And she might even join in.  *snicker*

Last night she slept for an EPIC 7+ hours.  I was fucking amazed.  Too bad the alarm was set to go off in an hour… I might have done a jig.  She’s got some timing, yes she does.  Mommy’s little marathon sleeper.

As always, I am grateful I am a mother to this fantastic little weird kid.


Day 41

Its been damn near 6 weeks.

She’s grown and changed so much.  She smiles now.  She sleeps longer.  She reacts to faces and voices and different people.  She’s, right now, sleeping upright in a Boppy pillow while M and I sing to her.  Its almost bed time, and we’ll change and feed her before nodding off.

Maternity leave is coming to an end.  I dont know if I’ll be at work on this Monday or on Dec. 6.  That’s up to the leave board.

Every now and then I remember that I havent always been a mother, and this hasnt always been my life… and I’m glad it is now.  🙂

Nov. 10th, 2010

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